Online dating... for YEARS?

I dont want any airheads answering this question. Please, no simple answers.





ive been dating this woman online for 3 1/2 years now. She is mentaly a litle messed up and I think I am too. I went to Iraq and she wouldnt let us meet even. Anyway we have both hurt each other immensely. We have tried getting it back to good terms so we can work on FINALY meeting. .... but that is just a bunch of BS because we should have met in real life two weeks after we met online. Anyway, she started doing this thing where she wouldnt talk for days or weeks with little to no explination or consideration for my feelings. That makes my life a living hell so I told her I was done playing her control games and I was leaving her. ...I really do love her, I think she has changed some but I still love her. But I cant go back because it will be the same games only worse and it certianly wont pursuade her to meet in real life.





...SO, do I move on? How much time should I give to see if she knocks on my door

Online dating... for YEARS?
It's great if you love someone, and they love you back. However, if you don't feel that she loves you, then you should probably move on.





Playing games is not something that people do when they love another person. Attempting to change IS.





So if she keeps playing games, move on. If she is making an honest attempt to change, then stay with her and see if it works out.
Reply:Glad to help out! Report It

Reply:It sounds like all she's doing is hurting you - over and over. You deserve better. Don't let her tear you down anymore. I know it'll be hard to say bye to her, but you've got to ask yourself "Where is the love in this relationship? Is she giving me any in return for what I give her?"
Reply:you are "dating" and "in love" with a pretend person. The two of you for some strange reason (afraid of intimacy??) I cannot know, are having a no ties relationship. How great to have it be online where it is never real. See the doc and get a real life, you are worth it!
Reply:Well i hate to say this but she is probably married or with someone in real life. I wish you the best of luck but it is difficult to imagine being so in love with someone that you have never met.
Reply:Well even know you may love her a whole mega lot it just may be time to move on. What if she keeps it up if she is doing that to you it shows she really does not care. You deserve better than that. I think you are being good about this but she is being rude and does not really care. So you should just go find someone else that really does love and care about you and you deserve. There are plenty of wonderful Women out there. So GO FOR IT! Good luck!
Reply:I'll bet she doesn't look like her picture. If that's the case, there's no way she'll be knocking on your door. Three and a half years is a long time to 'date' someone without ever meeting. The emotional bonds you've made at this point, will not likely transfer over to the real world.
Reply:I really feel for you, I have been in this situation and I can only tell you that I did stop talking for weeks to a guy I met online, I wasn't in love with him but i really liked him. I never met him either, I mean we both knew what the other looked like, the thing was the closer I got to him, the more I was scared if we met in person I would be dissappointed. Does that make sense? So I freaked became superbitch and became distant ANYWAY.... if you really like her give her some time ask her straight out what she wants out of the relationship.