I met my husband through online dating... do most men continue to check out sites?

My husband and i met through online dating. We have been together over 4 years and married almost 1. I recently saw that he was writing some girl from an online site.. I was devastated but he swears he just checks out the photos and writes sometimes b/c he thinks its funny. can I ever trust him? Is he addicted to being online/dating/flirting/looking?? what to do help! This is ruining my trust in him

I met my husband through online dating... do most men continue to check out sites?
i know exactly where your coming from. i met my fiancee on a dating service site called "singlesnet.com" everything was great, we moved in together, he asked me to marry him, i said "yes" and again everything i thought was just "perfect." 2months after living with him, he was back on the sites, eharmony, singlesnet,match, everything. he was even adding new female members to his yahoo messanger and when i found all of this out, i was extremely hurt, i thought to myself, why on earth would he still be doing this when he is supposed to be happy with me. on countless occasions i had asked him why, and he said "it was nothing". i felt otherwise, after all i wasnt doing it, you know?!





The thing is, when you meet someone on the net, i came to understand, that they are the ones who are so called "addicted" to the net, usually are. My fiancee lead a so called sheltered life, harldy any friends,etc...and he based his social life on the net. that's where his "fantasy friends" were. i just was not comfortable with the fact that they were all females, it made me feel very insecure.





But i had to come to the realization that i need to trust him, no matter what, sometimes it's hard, don't get wrong, but if they are not calling his cell or visiting to my knowledge than i need to be secure with myself that he isn't doing anything that wrong. It's hard to come to this realization but if in one day he proves me/or i found out more than what it really is some way, I am gone. Noo one deserves to be deceived but everyone deserves the fact of the matter. Good luck and i hoped i helped!
Reply:I met my husband through the online personals, but as far as I know he was done looking at the sites as soon as we started getting serious. Then again, he hates the whole dating/flirting crap - it's not his idea of fun. If you know that your husband is "addicted" to flirting, looking and whatever else, and you have a problem with it, you need to deal with this. No, "most men" don't check out online dating sites once they're married; I'm sure, a lot of them do, but they're looking for very specific things there, they don't do it because it's "funny" - simply because there isn't anything funny about it.
Reply:Its nice to see you can meet someone online but if both cant give up the date sites and chatting ,flirting, i do worry about it. and if you dont have trust its hard to keep going. so talk to him about it. hope you two can work it out .
Reply:You should join him when he checks the site. It can be funny, you can meet some really different people online. Ask him if you can look with him.





Doesn't mean he's cheating. Will he give you his password? Is he hiding anything. do you remember when you were on the dating site, how exciting and fun it was. It is fun, and he just wants to have some harmless fun. But be careful that he's not spending too much time on the site! Then you can worry.
Reply:Once he found you and married you he should not be on line viewing other women for any reason. I would tell him that online communication with the opposite sex ends here and now because that part of both your lives are over! If he continues to do so and you have told him how you feel about it ...give him an ultimatum. He needs to stop now if he wants to contiue this marriage with you or its done. If he cannot respect you he gives you no choice.
Reply:I wouldn't call it being addicted. He has a woman at home. He is just a player or a wanna be one. The guy is a cheat. If he met and married you. And above all loved you he wouldn't be doing such things. I wouldn't trust him. Normally when one checks these sort of sites out is with more than just looking in mind. I am a woman and have met men via net. Once one finds or thinks one has found someone. One stops looking. The only reason one continues to look or returns. Is because the one that was met wasn't what was desired and one is looking for someone new.
Reply:You have every right to be bothered by this. I would shut this down right away! Communicate with him and let him know you are not ok with this. Explain to him that just for fun or not you are not ok with this. Now that he is married to you there is no reason for him to be on an online dating site chatting with woman. Don't be afraid to put your foot down about this matter.
Reply:kitty said it just right!


i completely understand, me and my husband met the same way and he actually didnt stop either (i found this out a year too late) and that he physically cheated as well. i closed my dating page after we dated for 4 weeks because he seemed like the one for me. not because i experienced this but because i take loyalty serious, i find it very wrong and disrespectful what your husband is doing and of course the trust is gone.
Reply:i would do the same thing and see how he likes it.. if he dont then tell him to stop if he dont then maybe it is a just fun for him
Reply:I think if you were really sexy as you claim there wouldn't be any looking online...LOL